Disruption can either empower us or haunt us. The personal impact of unexpected life events depends on the meaning we choose to give them. Experiencing self-harm as a teenager, health scares, being made redundant while I was sick and dealing with dad guilt were some of the challenges I had to learn how to navigate. I attribute much of who I am today to reframing challenges through positive self-talk and cultivating compassion and gratitude.

I was born into a traditional Asian family with two loving parents. My relationship with my father was functional, and often, there would be conflicts at home followed by yelling and screaming. I would see my mother suppressing her grief with alcohol. As a child, I would frequently find myself curled up crying in my room. Many times, I tried to run away from home and developed low self-esteem. My self-esteem issues meant I found myself living under the shadow of my father’s family which was the doing of my mind.

Life continued to throw curveballs at me at various stages of life. For example, my love for basketball was taken away from me after an incident. It was a way for me to escape the pain I felt at home. Soon I found myself alone again and had nothing to turn to and I developed suicidal thoughts. At University, I suffered from Bell’s Palsy – a partial facial paralysis for three months and had to give up the major I had been studying for, right before my exams. I also had to then extend my stay in Australia to complete my education.

When I started working I equated my self-worth through my job and became a workaholic. At 32 I was managing a team in a technology company and felt burnt-out and this is when my Bell’s palsy relapsed after twelve years. Although relapses are uncommon here I was dealing with it all over again. I felt like it was the lowest period in my life. Around the same time, I was made redundant at work with a week’s pay in hand. No amount of pleading and fighting to let me complete my notice period would change the decision of the top management. It was then that I was reminded of the words of Brian Dyson, the former CEO of Coca-Cola, “Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends and spirit. And you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.” These words once again reminded me to maintain compassion towards myself and feel immense gratitude for those in my life.