Cultural Perspectives on Parenting: Building Resilience in Kids

Parenting is a universal experience, yet the approaches to raising children vary widely across cultures. In some contexts, independence and individuality are emphasized, while in others, family harmony and interdependence take priority. These cultural values shape parenting styles and influence the emotional bonds children form with their caregivers. This article explores how these differences impact attachment and caregiving practices worldwide.

Attachment: Building Bonds with Caregivers

Attachment refers to the emotional bond between a child and their caregiver, forming the foundation for emotional and social development. Psychologist John Bowlby described attachment as a “lasting psychological connectedness,” emphasizing its role in providing safety and security. This bond develops through consistent and sensitive caregiving, which helps children feel secure and supported.

Mary Ainsworth identified four key attachment styles, each shaped by the caregiver’s behaviour:

Secure: Formed when caregivers are responsive and consistent. Children feel safe, confident, and develop healthy relationships throughout life.

Insecure avoidant: Develops when caregivers are emotionally distant or unresponsive. Children may appear independent but struggle with emotional closeness.

Insecure ambivalent: Results from inconsistent caregiving. Children may feel insecure, seeking attention but fearing rejection.

Disorganised: Often linked to neglect or trauma. Children show conflicting behaviours, such as seeking comfort but also displaying fear toward caregivers.

While the process of forming attachments is universal, its expression varies across cultures, reflecting different societal values and caregiving priorities.

Parenting and the Role of Attachment

Parenting plays a crucial role in shaping how children form attachments, and caregiving approaches are often influenced by cultural values and parenting styles. Psychologists commonly describe parenting using four broad styles, each of which can impact a child’s emotional well-being and sense of security:

Permissive Parenting: Characterised by warmth and responsiveness but with few rules or boundaries. Permissive parents often prioritise their child’s happiness and autonomy, which can foster creativity but may lead to challenges with self-discipline.

Authoritative Parenting: Balances warmth, responsiveness, and firm but fair boundaries. This style encourages independence while providing guidance and structure, often associated with positive outcomes like confidence and emotional regulation.

Neglectful (Uninvolved) Parenting: Marked by a lack of responsiveness and minimal involvement in the child’s life. Neglectful parenting can result in emotional insecurity and difficulty forming attachments, as children may feel unsupported or disconnected.

Authoritarian Parenting: Focuses on strict rules, discipline, and high expectations, often with less emphasis on emotional warmth. While this style can promote structure and respect, it may also limit emotional expression and independence in some children.

Parenting styles are not fixed; they can vary across cultures and even within families depending on circumstances. In some cultures, autonomy and self-expression are emphasised, aligning with permissive or authoritative approaches. In others, collective well-being and discipline may guide parenting, reflecting authoritarian tendencies.

Regardless of these differences, the goal of most of our parents remains the same: to provide children with emotional stability and a secure foundation. How this is achieved depends on the cultural and social context in which caregiving occurs, as well as the parenting style adopted by caregivers.

Parenting in Contexts That Emphasise Independence

In cultural settings where individuality and self-expression are prioritised, parenting styles often encourage children to explore the world independently and express their emotions openly. Caregivers may focus on enabling children to make their own decisions and develop a strong sense of self.

Parenting in these contexts often aligns with an authoritative style, which balances warmth and clear boundaries. This approach supports children in developing confidence, emotional awareness, and problem-solving skills.

However, the focus on independence may also create unique challenges. For example, children may prioritise self-reliance over collaborative or interdependent behaviours. Additionally, while emotional expression is encouraged, children may require guidance to navigate emotional regulation.

This approach reflects the values of autonomy and self-determination, providing children with tools to thrive in environments that prioritise individual achievement and expression.

Parenting in Contexts That Emphasise Family and Harmony

In cultural settings where family cohesion and interdependence are emphasised, caregiving often prioritises guidance, discipline, and collective well-being. Parents may take an active role in structuring their children’s development, focusing on education, respect for family roles, and emotional restraint.

This approach can be seen in concepts such as guan (training), which highlights high parental involvement combined with care and support. Caregivers in these contexts may dedicate time and effort to ensuring their children succeed academically and socially, viewing this involvement as a central expression of love and responsibility. Children growing up with such parenting styles may demonstrate attachment by respecting family values, fulfilling responsibilities, or maintaining harmonious relationships. This reflects cultural priorities of interdependence and collective success.However, the high expectations placed on children can occasionally lead to challenges, such as performance anxiety or stress tied to fulfilling parental aspirations.

Understanding Cultural Differences in Parenting and Attachment

While parenting and attachment are universal, the way they are expressed varies significantly across cultural contexts. In some settings, secure attachment may align with independence and emotional expressiveness, while in others, it may be associated with fulfilling family responsibilities and maintaining relational harmony.

These differences are not better or worse—they reflect the diverse ways humans adapt to their environments and meet the needs of their children. However, caregiving approaches may present unique dynamics. For example, children raised in independence-oriented cultures may excel in self-expression but may need additional support in fostering interdependence. Conversely, children raised in family-oriented cultures may develop strong emotional regulation but may also face pressures to meet high expectations.

By recognising these differences, we can better understand the diverse approaches to caregiving and appreciate that there is no single “right” way to raise emotionally resilient children.

Parenting and attachment are shaped by culture, yet the underlying goal is universal: to nurture children who feel secure, loved, and prepared to thrive. By exploring the diverse paths taken by caregivers across the world, we can learn from one another and celebrate the many ways families foster connection and growth.

Photo Credits:
First image: Best Content Production Group
Second image: yanKing999

References

Zhang, X., & Wei, Y. (2024a). The Role of Dance Movement Therapy in Enhancing Emotional Regulation: A Literature Review. Heliyon, 10(15), e35733–e35733. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.heliyon.2024.e35733

Denise Ng

About the author

Denise Ng is a Clinical Psychologist dedicated to women’s and adolescents’ mental health. Passionate about attachment, parenting, and couple relationships, she uses her therapeutic knowledge to help individuals and families build emotional strength. Denise is committed to supporting the public in navigating psychological challenges, empowering them to achieve resilience and mental well-being.

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