Internal Family Systems (IFS) was developed by Richard Schwartz over many years, and finds its origins in Family Systems Therapy. It realizes that we have different Parts within us, each with their own emotions, feelings, thoughts and behaviours that impact our mental health.
You experience this yourself when you have an inner dialog. For example, you’re offered a sweet and the Part of you that likes sweets is telling you: “Oh yes, I’m going to have that sweetie. It’s so yummy!” Meanwhile, another Part is saying: “No, don’t take it. You shouldn’t have that sweet. It’s bad for you! You’re on a diet!” This is a dialog between two Parts within you. One Part wants you to eat the sweet, maybe because it wants you not to miss out on the joy it thinks you will experience from its flavour, or is afraid that the person offering you a sweet will be offended if you don’t accept it. The other Part wants you to decline, perhaps because it wants to protect your teeth as this is something it is worried about, or wants you to keep on a diet that you have been successfully keeping.
Where do these Parts come from? Meditation and mindfulness say that when you have thoughts coming up, you can realize that these are just thoughts, and that you can let them float away. In IFS therapy we follow that thought down to where it comes from. Its origin story. We ask it: Where does it come from? What is it trying to do? What is it trying to do for the system that is you? I like to see IFS as a way of getting to the synapses within the brain. At present, laser is far too big and bulky to really drill down to and fix the synopses that constitute and hold a memory of something that happened, and dictate how we react to things, how we see the world, based on that. We cannot go in and quickly zap these synapses, so the question arises, how else can we get into the brain, into the middle of our head? And the way to do that is through language, imagination, emotion, the senses. We use them to go all the way back and right down to where these behaviours, thoughts, emotions and reactions started impact our mental health.
Let me give you an example from my own life. When I was little, around four years old, we lived in a very small village, and my neighbour and I walked to kindergarten together. I used to skip. I loved it. Skipping for me was the best way of moving myself forward. One day, I was skipping, and I bumped into a very large lady who was quite robust. I bounced off her, landing on the pavement. She shouted at me, pointed at me, and I felt very frightened, embarrassed and ashamed. As a little four year old girl, my solution to not feel so ashamed or embarrassed ever again was that I would never, ever skip again. And I didn’t, not for a long time, even when it was appropriate and demanded. In school PE, for example. I tried, but I couldn’t skip even when I wanted or needed to. My adaptive behaviour had become maladaptive.
It was only when I was going through IFS training that I found out that there was a little Part of me was trying to protect me from feeling ashamed, embarrassed and frightened; it had made the connection that these feelings come from skipping. Once we were able to break that connection, it was a relief for this Part of me: it didn’t need to carry that burden anymore.
So what happens now? What does that Part of me do for me now, when I’m happy, excited, or need to run for something? I skip. My family thinks it’s hilarious, but I love skipping, so that’s what I do. The Part of me that stopped me from skipping, the synapses created and still living in the past that thought that I was four years old, and that had all these years been working so hard to protect me by not skipping; when it was released of this burden, it was able to help me in a positive way, and it didn’t need to work so hard anymore.
This is a silly little example of how IFS therapy works, but it also works for issues arising from Intergenerational or Legacy Burdens that we have taken on, even though they are not ours; it works for trauma with a big ‘T’ and a small ‘t’, depression, anxiety, behavioural addictions, a whole plethora of mental health issues.
What I really enjoy about this method is the relief my clients feel, the unburdening that happens, the relief their Parts feel, that they don’t need to be carrying their Burdens anymore.
Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO) is a way of bringing IFS therapy into couples, group therapy, and relational therapy to help with mental health issues.
In IFS and IFIO we talk about Protectors. What I see in couples or groups or families who are going through a crisis or a difficult patch is that it is not the vulnerable Parts talking to each other, but the Protectors whose sole raison d’être is to protect their person. Unfortunately, these protectors don’t care what damage they cause or what situations come up, because they are completely and totally focused on protecting the person.
Taking my example from earlier, my little Protector Part that wouldn’t let me skip in PE meant I got downgraded for a certain exercise. I let my team down in a race. Other people made fun of me: “What do you mean you ‘can’t’ skip?”
The same thing happens in relationships and families. These Protectors are so focused on protecting the person. They don’t care what damage they are doing to relationships, what damage they are doing to others.
In IFIO, we look at these Protectors, we look at what they are hoping and trying to achieve. Furthermore, by accessing our vulnerabilities, we allow other people in this relationship to find out what’s really going on, and together move through the crisis to a new way of communicating, that allows for more open and honest conversation.
That is what the IFS and IFIO therapies are all about, a more open and honest relationship with Self and others, the healing of Parts stuck in the past, the disassembling of maladaptive behaviour, better relationships and improved mental health. This journey through mental health therapy not only enhances individual well-being but also strengthens connections with others.
For anyone involved in the realm of cancer—whether as a patient, family member, healthcare professional, or caregiver—the relentless cycle of pain, discomfort, anger, fear, and despair is all too familiar. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed by these emotions, which makes the idea of exploring mental health therapy a sensitive yet crucial consideration. Within this understanding lies the potential for transformation
Photo Credits:
First image: kanyakits
Second image: CandyRetriever
References
Hodgdon, H. B., Anderson, F. G., Southwell, E., Hrubec, W., & Schwartz, R. (2021). Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) among Survivors of Multiple Childhood Trauma: A Pilot Effectiveness Study. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 31(1), 22–43. https://doi.org/10.1080/10926771.2021.2013375
Bee, Cecilia. (2022). Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS): A Compassionate Approach to Therapy. Counselling & Psychotherapy Review Singapore. 01. 1-6. https://doi.org/10.1142/S2810968623500043.
Comeau, A., Smith, L. J., Smith, L., Soumerai Rea, H., Ward, M. C., Creedon, T. B., Sweezy, M., Rosenberg, L. G., & Schuman-Olivier, Z. (2024): Online group-based internal family systems treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder: Feasibility and acceptability of the program for alleviating and resolving trauma and stress. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/tra0001688
Elise Phillipson
About the author
Elise Phillipson is a certified psychotherapist at Amindset, specializing in inner healing, self-love, and empowerment. With a background in psychology, she is dedicated to helping clients navigate their emotional journeys with compassion and understanding.In therapy, Elise utilizes a wide variety of therapeutic methods, including IFS and IFIO.
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